Confessions of an Officer's Wife

October 19, 2015

I have to admit that on the surface, we have appeared to have it together. Actually, we have been on a bit of Navy “bender.” My husband serves in the military and has done so for over twenty years. It’s been a career that takes spills over into your personal life. We’ve created families along the way and miss them dearly. It has been rewarding and heartbreaking all at once.

Through the twenty-ish years, we have taken fulladvantage of what the military has had to offer but possibly done so at the cost of our sanity and health. We ate poorly more than half the time; slept and exercised very little, which made us very irritable. Our moves, while as exciting as they were, distracted us from doing what was needed. We were lucky enough to be granted orders to Italy, Hawaii, and some very desirable duty stations in the Continental United States (CONUS). But let me tell you as lovely as it was and it sounds, you can lose your mind when you plan four overseas moves with three small children and a small pet. In total, we have moved twelve times in twenty-two years. It’s not easy folks, by no means. We made it look easy.

The reality is that it takes a considerable amount of planning, paperwork, and perseverance to get it done. I can see clearly now that we had the planning and paperwork under control. It didn't seem so at the time, though. I was walking on edge and in a daze. Eventually, the patience it takes to persevere a task like that wears thin when little ones are literally screaming to have their basic needs met. Some days it was mere survival. (Open a box of cereal and pour).

However, our overwhelming desire to live the dream outweighed any notion of losing it in front of peers and those he commanded. I guess I should say that pertained to me more than him. He’s a natural born leader and knows how to keep his cool at all times. It’s infuriating! I would wait to lose my mind in the comfort of my home. The little ones would watch their mother come unglued and stuff her face with junk food while he worked long hours and deployed. There are too many shameful mom moments to count. I wish I could have done and been better. Today, I grant myself some mercy and forgive.

I’m finally feeling more like myself, now that his Captain’s tour is behind us. We are getting our personal lives back on track; working on our health, spirit and minds. It’s time to recharge and make the next twenty years solely our own.

1 comment :

  1. I can't even imagine what it's like to move that much stuff over and over again. I can barely stand to pack and unpack multiple times in a single vacation. Without my children. My husband rarely loses his cool. It really is infuriating. I secretly relish it when my kids push him to actually be angry. Thanks for sharing!


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