#Midlife Blogger

January 25, 2015

There, I've said it. I am a midlife blogger. Also, mom to three school aged kids and wife trying to figure things out. Let me let you in on a little secret. You'll be trying to figure things out even in your forties. The second guessing and trying new things isn't just for the younger cool kids. The mind never stops wandering even at the stage when you start forgetting. 

Great, you're still reading beyond the post title. So, what will you find here? Reviews of some of my favorite spots in town and products I use? (I promise no Activia posts). Outfits of the day (yikes, scary thought)? Focus on photography? Well, yes to all of that and much more.

It's been hard to pinpoint what I want to focus mostly on because I 1) forget and 2) am a curious/creative person that likes to try almost everything once (as long as it doesn't involve trekking through heights on narrow passages). Most people who know me personally, would first describe me as a creative. I don't. That's a personal hang up of mine because I am highly critical of myself.

When I started blogging almost seven years ago, I was in a very different place. too. I was a mom of babies, reaching out to like minded moms that were willing to share the truth about motherhood and not just the pretty parts. I did. I have found and still connect almost daily with many women on the web, whom I still have never met, and loved every bit of it. They are virtual pen pals that have consistently celebrated my mini triumphs and were sad to see me go from my other space but totally understood because they have felt the same way themselves. It's nice to be part of that tribe.

Now, as a parent, I find myself with older children that challenge me in different ways and make me beam with pride, sometimes all at once. Honestly, I'm starting to see the outcome of my parenting handiwork and some of its shortcomings, too. That's okay because no one has left the nest. I still have time to make a difference and undo some of the damage.

As a wife, specifically a wife of a very ambition military serviceman, I find myself constantly trying not to become just his voiceless other half. The other half that is just considered supportive and without amibition herself. The past eighteen years have been a struggle for me to keep any sort of clear career path. I have started degrees in several areas of study (interior design, photography, human relations) and stopped pursuing them due to relocation. Unfortunatley, the degrees were never finished because I get easily side-tracked and frustrated when I have to start all over again, which happens every two to three year for us. Starting over again means finding a new community to depend on and share milestones. We do, but it's neither effortless or seamless. There are growing pains and we've learned some tricks. While settling into a new place, other concerns of mine have been the well-being of our children and the overwhelming desire to create a home that is harmonious and peaceful [cue zen music]. So, if it means putting my dreams on a shelf, so be it. Much easier said than done. Truthfully, it's been tough on our marriage but our love and dedication to each other has seen us through the rough patches. 

Also, I find myself dealing with my self-image. I would be a liar if I told you that I don't obsess with the realities of aging, weight management and career. The struggle is real! Well, you know. My career path is trying to unfold before me but I have some hard decisions to face, like what to do with my talents and experience. My main problem is focus. I'm determined to stay on course this time, no matter the distraction du jour.

So, here I am, a midlife blogger trying to reinvent myself. Wish me luck!

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